What hurts the most EJ's story
by ebonypsyche
Summary: The prequel to Sami's story.  EJ has to learn to move on.


Okay so this is EJ's tale of moving on. The prequel to Sami's story.

also "" denotes flashbacks. "-----" are scene changes.

I hope you all like. One day I will write a song fic that's not angsty or extremely sexual (my last one in the Buffy fandom shakes head)

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_**I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house  
That don't bother me  
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out**_

EJ carried the last box out of the apartment and saw Samantha standing staring at him.

"_I'm going to ask you one last time Samantha-"_

_"Save your breath EJ." Sami answered. "I love Lucas, I'm not leaving him."_

_"You told me that you wanted someone to love you. Unconditionally and completely. EJ said. He walked to the roof door and closed the door showing two sets of initials "AR+CB" and "LR+CB". "And without a shadow of anyone else in his heart."_

_"Don't throw that in my face. I trusted you EJ and all that time-"_

_"All that time, I supported you. I told you that men would be lined around the block to be with you."_

_"I have one." Sami practically yelled. "He's downstairs sleeping in our bed and I love him."_

_"Then what are you doing here with me?" EJ countered._

_Sami took a deep breath. "Nothing. I'm going downstairs right now." She walked went to the door to open it but her fingers brushed against EJ._

_Neither of them knew who connected to who yet the fact remained that Sami and EJ were standing there against a door which held too much meaning for them, kissing._

_EJ used the opportunity to explore a mouth and flavor that seemed to be missing from his life for too long. Slowly, he relearned what kissing Samantha felt like, his memories seeming to prove to be a tragic parody of the real thing. And from the way Sami was pulling him to her, he could only hope she felt the same._

_Finally they had to break for breathing and Ej leaned his forehead on Samantha._

_"Sami."_

_"Please EJ," Sami breathed. "Kiss me again."_

_EJ could only give a husky laugh before giving in to her request._

"Goodbye Trouble." EJ said before walking to the elevator. He could still feel the wait of her gaze on him. It got to be too much and he decided that it would be best to just take the stairs.

_**I'm not afraid to cry  
Every once in a while  
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me**_  
--------------------------  
_**There are days  
Every now and again  
I pretend I'm ok but that's not what gets me**_

"I never thought I'd live to see the day where you would give up." Bo had said the next day.

"Neither did I" EJ had answered.

"What happened?"

_Sami snuggled closer to EJ as they laid on the roof seeking warmth. Just then the truth of what she done hit her._

_"Oh god Oh god."_

_Sami started crying._

_"Samantha what-" _

_"Don't touch me!" Sami shrieked. She gathered her clothes and practically flew out the door before EJ could get another word out._

_All he could do is stare after her confused._

_**What hurts the most  
Was being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
Not seeing that love in you  
Is what I was trying to do**_

"Once Samantha latches to an idea, it takes an act of God to stop her." EJ finally said. " And apparently she has the idea that marrying Kate Roberts son would be the best thing for her." EJ opened a box before the statement really got to him. "I'm tired of trying persuade her otherwise."

"Well, it may just be for the best."

EJ pinched himself. "No, you're actually comforting me." He said in shock. Both men laughed at how far things had to have changed for that to happen.  
------------------

_**It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go  
But I'm doing it  
It's hard to force that smile when I see your old friends and I'm alone**_

Eugene practically ran to him outside of the pub as EJ turned the corner. Vi smiled but remained in her grandfather's arms, apparently loving every second of being treated like a princess.

EJ knew not to ask where Samantha was. Bo was right, he chuckled internally, staying from Sami would prove to be best.

As he collected his daughter for Roman's arms, he made the mistake of turning and seeing in the window, Sami watching him. He resisted the urge to wave or stare or do something and was rewarded for his efforts when she turned away.  
--------------------------

_**Still harder  
Getting up, getting dressed  
Dealing with this regret  
But I know if I could do it over  
I would trade  
Give away  
All the words that I say  
Through my heart that I left unspoken**_

EJ woke from his dream to find Kate throwing clothes at him. "Get up. Get dressed. I will not have that guttersnipe run our company to the ground."

Kate found herself at the other side of the door very soon after.

Still, EJ had to admit she had a point. It had been too long and even though Samantha knew the power that she had over him, he didn't grow up with the concept of emotions taking over his life.

So he got in the shower and tried to wash away dreams of what could have been if he had just reached out to her that night.

_**What hurts the most  
Was being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
Not seeing that love in you  
Is what I was trying to do**_  
-------------------------

Months flew by and EJ thrown himself back into his life pre-Samantha Brady- no Samantha _Roberts_. He dated and ran Mythic, only racing for leisure and charity now as Eddie and Vi became his two primary focuses.

It was empty and hollow without her and the life that still haunted him in his dreams but somehow he managed to thrive.

"EJ Wells."

Ej looked up to find a find a stunning brunette looking at him with amusement.

"I'm Andrea McPherson. I'm sorry that I'm late."

EJ stood up and shook her hand before moving to pull her chair out for her.

"Well, at least I gave you time to mull over something that seemed really important." Andrea smiled when she was seated.

EJ laughed. "That you did."

_**What hurts the most…**_


End file.
